


I couldn't give you a warning (But I felt it all over me)

by immcrtal



Series: Always [2]
Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M, yeah dairpression is real guyz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 07:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18912754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immcrtal/pseuds/immcrtal
Summary: "The first time Blair Waldorf sees Dan Humphrey as something more than just Serena’s latest fixation is when she feels him see her." Or how Blair's view on Dan changed with each and every little interaction.





	I couldn't give you a warning (But I felt it all over me)

**(1)**

The first time Blair Waldorf sees Dan Humphrey as something more than just Serena’s latest fixation is when she feels him _see_ her. They’re at her and Se-, _correction_ Serena’s first model shoot.

The floor feels cold under her naked legs, her dress is pooling at her thighs as her mind races with the most horrendous insults she can come up with, regarding Serena.

She’s so deep in her thoughts that she doesn’t see his equally horrendous shoes slowly walk towards her hiding spot. He looks at her for a moment as she raises her own eyes. His eyes are full of pity, with twinges of guilt, exhaust and a hint of something she hasn’t come to know yet from Dan Humphrey.

He sighs, his back coming into contact with the wall, perpendicular to hers, and as she slides her gaze down to the hands in her lap, so does his back. She wants to come up with a snarky comment, an insult, on his face, his shoes, his ugly buzzcut, Brooklyn, but the best she can come up with is a _tetanus shot_. She wants a reaction anything to not make the focus her rather pathetic life, and mother and maybe even best friend, but he doesn’t, he just talks about his mother, her leaving, and how Blair shouldn’t hide how she feels to the people she loves.

She doesn’t know why he’s here, why he cares, but she’s glad he does, even if it might be related to his infatuation, or whatever, for Serena.

Casually from that moment on, they bicker a bit more, hate each other a bit more and even throw each other under the bus. But she knows it’s not deep, she knows that she doesn’t hate him, even if she’d rather die than admit it, Humphrey has been quite an even match to her intellectual antics.

So that’s how she finds herself, 3 years later, spending her lonely thanksgiving break, with Humphrey. And again he sees through her, he sees her. _Although_ their love for french films about ourantangs and old classics, still won’t push her to admit that she considers him as a friend.

 

**(3)**

After thanksgiving, life is back to normal, everyone’s back, Serena, Chuck, Nate, and Blair finds herself throwing every evidence (to specify: a, one, piece of fucking paper) she has of being ‘seen’ with that god awful hipster.

Her heart stops every time someone asks what she did over break, she doesn’t quite understand why yet.

Much to her distaste, Humphrey stops by, disturbed at his appearance after locking away their movie meeting, she abruptly demands him what he’s doing at her place, and proceeds to tell him that they aren’t friends, he denies her friend commentary claiming he’s here to see, someone they both know _all too well_.

For a second, even less than a second, her heart stops, disappointed, but it’s such a short interval, that her own body can’t seem to comprehend the meaning of that little quiet death.

“Oh.” She trails off. To avoid him noticing her hesitation she declares, calmly, that Serena is out planning a scheme with Chuck, and she sees him try to hide his own internal death.

They both know that the blonde in question is not here, and won’t be here, not for him at least. He offers to wait for her, jeopardizing his interview, when they both _know_ she won’t show up.

They exchange rude comments about each others current situation, when he looks past her, “You know you doing the powerful woman isn’t actually a career?” She rolls her eyes, “Neither is Serena Van der Woodsen!” half in annoyance and half in something that she can’t pinpoint yet.

The comment ends with a bet, 10 bucks to whomever’s current life decisions blow up in their faces.

At the end of the day, it does blow up in her face, but it does for him too, so she feels slightly better. She finds him sitting on a couch, after seeing him make a rather dramatic exit, _always the attention whore Humphrey_ , she thinks.

* * *

 

 He’s examining the people in room, while downing a glass of what seems to be alcohol.. She sits beside him, fully aware that his arm is somewhat around her due to him curling it around the back of the couch.

“What are you doing here? I thought I saw you leave 10 minutes ago?”

He looks down, “Well on top of everything they can’t find my coat, so.”

They somehow fall into a know familiar banter, both claiming that they owe each other money for their respective failures. As she screams out for the coat checker, his eyes, show a hint of something unknown that she hasn’t seen since they were in high school, _since_ that first photoshoot.

“What’s wrong? It’s not the coat checker.” He offers a window, an open door to discuss her inner turmoil, all the while adopting the most genuine tone he’s ever had with her. And she _hates_ him, for being able to read her so damn well. “I’m sorry are we friends?” Her mouth lets out before she can stop herself. He coughs awkwardly, removing his arm from where it was comfortably resting behind her and the couch, “Of course not. _Hm_.”

He starts to get up, and she lets up.

Screw his ‘Waldorf reading’ skills. “I had a horrible fight with my mother.” And he looks at her again with that unrecognizable look.

“You’re an evil dictator of taste Blair.” He tells her.

* * *

And afterwards, while talking to her mother about the words that came out of his mouth, Blair understands why her heart stopped every time someone asked about her break; Humphrey was now a friend to her.

She understands why she defended him to Serena and showed her disapproval when he replied that he was going to wait for Serena; she did not want to see him get hurt.

 

**(5)**

Maybe he was right maybe taking on W all by herself was too much, but she’d wear polyester before she’d even admit that a Humphrey was right. 

But then she finds herself calling a cab to the place she hates the most in the world and walking up the stairwell to his door, in her mismatched heels. 

He welcomes her in and it’s sort of like coming home

 

**(8)**

They’re hiding in the hidden part of a room Chuck got to surprise Raina. Chuck declares his love for Raina, and Blair feels empty. She walks to the empty dusty couch and sits down, she needs to breathe.

Dan clueless, continues to listen to Chuck’s genuine love for Raina, as the latter storms off leaving Chuck to pick up the pieces of his heart, and Blair to dust off the cracks she thought she had once covered.

 _He never showed that much dedication to her did he?_ Somehow that makes her think it’s her fault, when there are numerous things he had done that deserved to be questioned. Yet here she is, loveless, heartbroken over a man that has strangled it way too many times. She’s so deep in her thoughts she doesn’t notice him sit down beside her.

What she does notice is the way he’s looking at her. While it is from the corner of her eye, Blair feels the intensity, and the softness of his gaze on the side of her face, he has that same look in his eyes, the one that he looked at her with all those years ago, and recently, just _more_ intense. She doesn’t dare look at him though.

After a couple of seconds she feels his hand slowly slip into hers, and he sighs softly. She lets her hand bask in his warmth before abruptly pulling away. She did not need his fucking pity, she’s fine. She’s fine.

 _They’re fine_ , she thinks as she sits beside him still, letting the silence of two broken hearts envelop them.

And she confirms that they’re fine later on when she calls him, and they end up watching Rosemary’s Baby, together.

 

**(11)**

She starts dating Louis, and then sleeps with Chuck by accident. She’s pregnant and she’s freaking out.

She needs him more than ever.

But she’s also mad at him, she can’t possibly go to him, not while she’s with Louis and his suspicious sister, Beatrice, so she prays, _well_ barks lowly at the virgin Mary to help her. For once she prays for  someone to maybe help her, and _he_ shows up, Freaking Humphrey.

She practically runs to him, dragging him by the arm despite being furious, (she hates to admit it, but she’s missed him, and suddenly forgotten what he’s done.)

She throws up, and he looks at her with worry, “You’re not bulimic again, are you? Because it would be totally understandable, you’re under a lot of stress, and eating disorders come back under those circumstances, and I am not leaving here until you get help Blair.”

She rolls her eyes, his concern for her can be quite annoying despite the warmth brings.. “Would you calm down, I’m not bulimic again I’m pr-” and that’s when it goes to hell. Beatrice catches the confession to Dan.

* * *

Later, way later, she finds herself at his doorstep, knocking gently on his door. He opens it, a bit shocked, but lets her in without any comment.

She sits down on his couch. As he brings cups of tea for them, she finally breathes out,. “It was a drunken mistake, it meant nothing, besides I’ve done it countless times with Louis, the probabilities are most likely in his favour.”

He tilts his head to the side, and she knows what he’s going to say. “Pregnancies don’t work like that even Blair Waldorf cannot bend DNA to her will.”

He tells her, if not for her, that she should do it for her future child, and she considers it, it’s the right thing to do, but-

“But what if it changes everything? What if I lose everything?” She asks  involuntarily as tears make their way out of the corners of her eyes.

She sees it again, in his eyes, as she looks at him. His eyes don’t leave hers as he says without pause, or hesitation, “You’ll still have me.” She smiles and unconsciously leans her head to his shoulder. His right arm envelopes her, and gently he kisses her hair.

 

Somehow she believes him.

 

**(12)**

“What do you want?” He asks softly as she shows up at his doorstep. 

“To be happy.” And he looks at her same gaze, but without the hope that used to fill them is outshined by what thinks is sadness.

And he just looks at her before taking her to Chuck. Because that’s what’ll always make her happy.

She doesn’t know why her body screams no at the mere thought.

 

**(13)**

It’s in the way he stays by her side like he said he would. She still might not be able to figure out what it is with him and his gaze, but she knows that he keeps his word. Through the accident, through her miscarriage, he stays and helps her put back the pieces of her, even the pieces that she thought were gone for good.

 

Maybe Brooklyn isn’t so bad after all.

 

**(16)**

It’s been months since Louis happened, months since her last go at it with Chuck. Years since she’s known Humphrey, but nothing had prepared her for what was to come. She could see him now, understand the reason why he gazed at her in a particular way, or in quiet moments when he thought she couldn’t see. She could see _now_ because somehow she believes that’s exactly what she’s been doing the couple of past few weeks. 

It was in the big little things, like how he dropped everything to help her with Louis, despite his feelings for her (how could she have not noticed earlier?), how he wrote the vows so easily and simply, how his door was always open for her, how ‘evil dictator of taste’ came alive, plausible deniability. It was in, how she could open her heart to him and not expect a hand to tear it apart.

And it scared her. How could such foolish things sum up to make such big differences. How could these genuine and kind things sum to be something without pain? She flinched at the thought of opening her heart up to another man.

 _But is he any other man?_ Her mind asked.

 _No, he’s your best friend, an equal, someone who sees you as an equal_ , she thought fingers ghosting over the lips he had just kissed, as her town car drove her and Estee to the fundraiser.

 

And for the first time Blair understood that he was so much more than Serena Van der Woodsen’s on again off again fixation.

 

He was Dan freaking Humphrey, Brooklynite, Cabbage Patch, Muppet and the guy she unconsciously fucking fell in love within the past 2 years.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest one chapter fic that I've ever written, and yeah it's a mess but the idea here was to see Dan's stupid head over in love ass through Blair's eyes, and how she comes to realize it that she herself was the same. Also maybe them growing up and growing closer, I literally don't know this was sitting in my drafts and I knew I'd never finish it if I left it longer so I half assed the ending. And yes I know I didn't include key things such as Dan's book, them running away, the fake dating thing, the first kiss, but bear with me, the fic would've been so much more longer and painful (be still my dair heart) so sorry I'm rambling, enjoy! 
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated.


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